Welcome to Venice: Where Art meets Crime

Break a window and get you some rocks!

A couple of weeks ago my car was broken into and some of my property was removed.  Were there high-end electronics, gold bouillon or other valuable left in the car in plain sight? Nope.  Did I leave my wallet sitting on the driver’s seat with $100 bills fanned out across it? Nope.  Did I leave a zipped-up 5 year old Target backpack a sweet 80’s hair metal costume in the trunk area of my car? Yes.

Yes, I did and I paid the price.

How could that crackhead resist? Zebra-striped spandex pants aren’t an everyday occurrence and when life presents you with opportunities you have to snatch that shit.  I can’t remember the last time someone offered me a chance to don a tasseled and shredded 80’s band t-shirt, zebra pants, and an off-the-shelf brown mullet wig.  You know why? Cause that shit don’t happen.  Much like this thief, you need to make your own opportunities, son!

The costume is a part of Phoenyx, the improv hair-metal band that tells you that “You’re never gonna die!”, that usually performs as the grand finale of the weekly Stranger than Fiction Show.  Their 20 minute abbreviated concert usually takes you on a journey through time and space and deposits you somewhere between the moons of Endor and 1986.

Melting faces for 25 years: Phoenyx at the Stranger than Fiction Show

As you can see from the photo on the right.  Cracky McPipesmoke had no choice but to take it. And with that I present to you:

Top 3 Lista de las Listas reasons “Why a Crackhead Stole my Shit”:

3) I Live in Venice: the ghetto by the Sea

It’s a miracle this place still exists the way it does, but where else can you find section 8 housing by the beach next to multi-million dollar homes.  Plus, with Santa Monica (the home of the homeless) as my next door neighbor, I’m getting it from both ends.

2) Spandex has street value that is off the charts.

Who knew there was such an amazing secondary market for American Apparel stripper clothing? Those pants have probably changed hands 37 times since they were removed from my car.  And no, I don’t want them back. Thank you.

1) Art and Crime needed to come together in the backseat of my car.

Much like two kids in the back of a Chevy, Art and Crime decided they needed to get hot and heavy.

Live Show Update:

I have two shows going on this weekend starting off tonight with The Stranger than Fiction Show at the LA Connection in Sherman Oaks. The new look Phoenyx will be there to close things out and I promise you the new outfit it worth the price of admission. Check out www.stfworld.com for details. Also Sunday October 31st is final show of UDAZ-DO: The Way of unarmed Defense Against Zombies.  Part Show/part self-defense seminar; one helluva good time.  Check out UDAZDO.com for details or make reservations at the Academy of Mixed Martial Science.

Annoying Neighbors

We’ve all had them.  They come in all shapes and sizes and bring a wealth of diversity and idiosyncrasies to the community.  Since moving to Venice I’ve had a few choice neighbors already. Here are my top three starting from the bottom working my way up:

Number 3) The meth-head who plays guitar for hours on end, playing the same pentatonic scales in between fits of yelling at the television. This guy is not only annoying, but he also brings an element of danger to the table.  Don’t get me wrong, I love blues inspired pentatonics and they are every guitar player’s bread and butter.  However, After hour four of the 12 bar blues in the key of A, I’m about ready to take my own life.  Save the fact that baseball season is ramping up and my only reprieve will be his random screams of agony as Manny goes down swinging with the bases juiced.  As a side note this neighbor may have allegedly accidentally discharged his shotgun in to the skull of a neighbor he was having an argument with.  I could devote an entire blog to this incident.

Number 2) The coked out sex fiend who nails skanks through out all hours of the day and night. Whoa! Hold on there Zeke! Why are you hating on a guy who’s getting his grove on?  You should be happy for him, right?  Wrong.  At some point I need to sleep, write, and masturbate and I sure as hell can’t do that while I have Ron Jeremy banging it out at all hours of the night.  Wait, I guess I could masturbate . . .

Number 1) The guy who sub-lets a sub-let from a friend of the guy who’s sub-let the sub-let and enjoys house music. This guys is perhaps the worst offender of all since he doesn’t belong there in the first place.  Forget about his crappy choice in music for a second.  He hasn’t been pre-screened and more importantly sub-lets usually attract the dregs of society.  I can’t remember the last time Thurston Howell the 3rd (much less his half-brother Graham Wellington) was looking for a sub-let for the summer, but I can tell you its not on his bucket list.

However, none of these compare to the neighbor that the Stranger than Fiction Show deals with in the embedded clip.  Check it out and share it with your friends.

This week’s shows

I will be performing twice this week with The Stranger Than Fiction Show.  Wednesday night March 31st, I’ll be at the Comedy Store in Hollywood, CA.    It will be a night of improv comedy with some of the top improvisers from The LA Connection Comedy Theater.  I go on a 945pm with the STF crew.

Friday night April 2nd The Stranger than Fiction Show heads over the hill to our home theater, the LA Connection in Sherman Oaks, CA.  As usual, we will be doing 90 minutes of our own brand of improv comedy starting at 9pm.  This show will feature our newest addition to the show, STF Bingo!  E-mail me at zekeisawesome1@gmail.com for details on either show.