Lawn Clippings: ZekeIsAwesome Blog

Thoughts from the $300 Lawn Mower of Comedy: Zeke Thomas

Welcome to Venice: Where Art meets Crime

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Broken Element

Break a window and get you some rocks!

A couple of weeks ago my car was broken into and some of my property was removed.  Were there high-end electronics, gold bouillon or other valuable left in the car in plain sight? Nope.  Did I leave my wallet sitting on the driver’s seat with $100 bills fanned out across it? Nope.  Did I leave a zipped-up 5 year old Target backpack a sweet 80’s hair metal costume in the trunk area of my car? Yes.

Yes, I did and I paid the price.

How could that crackhead resist? Zebra-striped spandex pants aren’t an everyday occurrence and when life presents you with opportunities you have to snatch that shit.  I can’t remember the last time someone offered me a chance to don a tasseled and shredded 80’s band t-shirt, zebra pants, and an off-the-shelf brown mullet wig.  You know why? Cause that shit don’t happen.  Much like this thief, you need to make your own opportunities, son!

The costume is a part of Phoenyx, the improv hair-metal band that tells you that “You’re never gonna die!”, that usually performs as the grand finale of the weekly Stranger than Fiction Show.  Their 20 minute abbreviated concert usually takes you on a journey through time and space and deposits you somewhere between the moons of Endor and 1986.

Phoenyx at the Stranger than Fiction Show

Melting faces for 25 years: Phoenyx at the Stranger than Fiction Show

As you can see from the photo on the right.  Cracky McPipesmoke had no choice but to take it. And with that I present to you:

Top 3 Lista de las Listas reasons “Why a Crackhead Stole my Shit”:

3) I Live in Venice: the ghetto by the Sea

It’s a miracle this place still exists the way it does, but where else can you find section 8 housing by the beach next to multi-million dollar homes.  Plus, with Santa Monica (the home of the homeless) as my next door neighbor, I’m getting it from both ends.

2) Spandex has street value that is off the charts.

Who knew there was such an amazing secondary market for American Apparel stripper clothing? Those pants have probably changed hands 37 times since they were removed from my car.  And no, I don’t want them back. Thank you.

1) Art and Crime needed to come together in the backseat of my car.

Much like two kids in the back of a Chevy, Art and Crime decided they needed to get hot and heavy.

Live Show Update:

I have two shows going on this weekend starting off tonight with The Stranger than Fiction Show at the LA Connection in Sherman Oaks. The new look Phoenyx will be there to close things out and I promise you the new outfit it worth the price of admission. Check out for details. Also Sunday October 31st is final show of UDAZ-DO: The Way of unarmed Defense Against Zombies.  Part Show/part self-defense seminar; one helluva good time.  Check out for details or make reservations at the Academy of Mixed Martial Science.


Written by ZekeIsAwesome

October 29, 2010 at 11:59 am

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