Lawn Clippings: ZekeIsAwesome Blog

Thoughts from the $300 Lawn Mower of Comedy: Zeke Thomas

Posts Tagged ‘gratitude

Trying to Not Suck as a Human for a Decade

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Zeke Thomas and Christine is Lovely cruisin'.

This is what happens on cruises when you don’t drink.

Today is a day that will live in infamy. Not just historically, but also personally.  Today marks ten years that I have been sober.

10 years ago today I was at the absolute lowest point in my life. No putzing around and soft-shoeing around it. I was in rough shape. Today things are much different and that is a direct result of being continuously sober.

When the opportunity to get sober came about (read: a trip to the UCLA ER because of yet another grand mal seizure due to withdrawal from drugs and alcohol) I had a real choice in front of me: a) try a spiritual way of life that has worked for a number of people who had been in my exact position; or b) continue to face the personal hell that would probably end in death, jail, or if I was lucky, some form of institution.  To an addict/alcoholic like myself, this was a VERY tough choice. Through no small miracle I elected to choose the former rather than the latter.

The last decade has been filled with tremendous growth but sobriety does not guarantee happiness.  I’ve had incredible experiences that have shaped who I am. I’ve also had to endure some rather rough times as well, but regardless of the circumstances I had a chance to be present rather than retreating back to Drug-a-chussettes.

Early sobriety was almost as terrible as my last days drinking and using. It wasn’t until I took an active part in my sobriety was I able to enjoy the fact that I wasn’t fighting hangovers, trying to keep the plates spinning via lying, cheating, and stealing, and being a general fuckhead who was always looking out for myself. Just writing this I feel like I’m talking about another person.

Today my life is so full.  At times I want to burst  with the ridiculousness amount of gratitude I feel for everyone in my life.

Zeke Thomas and family (by choice).

It’s just a co-incidence that all my good friends happen to dress up like idiots

To my lover-face – Christine is Lovely – You’ve chosen to attach your covered wagon to this ridiculous little horse. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but your patience and love are unmatched. I love you.

My friends – Some of you don’t know  the person described above. I sincerely hope you never do.  He was a dick. Charming and charismatic,  but a people-pleasing dick.  I want to thank you for your support over the years. The “atta boy’s” and “keep it up’s” go a long way whether I want to admit it or not. The same goes for those with the tacit support of not inviting me to slippery places. Even ten years removed from my last drink, I can still romanticize the times when booze and drugs worked for me.

To my (current and past) fellow actors, writers, producers, business  associates, training partners, representatives, fans, and haters (Youtube and twitter trolls I see you . . .) – I thank you all. All your support has helped create this handsome (and humble!) creative spark plug who lives on the fringes of internet celebrity. Caralho!

If you’re struggling with substance abuse I encourage you to surrender. More than likely that house of cards is going to collapse.  Give up and join the winning side. For me, I’ve come to learn that it is much easier to stay sober than to get sober.

Via con dios,

– Zeke

Written by ZekeIsAwesome

December 7, 2012 at 5:00 am

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